Dutch Leck

I just can’t believe where we started and where we are today, the last day of 2011. Some people call us crazy, others would poke fun, and many have come beside us this year to offer support, guidance, and help.  If you have not figured out by now how insanely passionate Ashley and I are about foster children, you must have been living under a rock this entire last year.  We try to speak boldly about our state’s crisis – the great need for GOOD foster families.  Of course there are other issues people would consider more important in the world, but to our family, helping children in need is where our heart is. 

We started the year with one beautiful child in our home and are now at full capacity of four, with as many as five at one time.  (This is where people called us crazy)  In between January and December we have had a total of nine children stay with us. Each of these innocent children has a purpose in life.  They may be the next spokesperson for a company, a doctor, a teacher, or a chemist who discovers the cure for cancer.  We just ask that they not become a car salesman – we know what those people are like, right?

Without our friends and family we could not have made it through 2011.  From helping us with childcare, driving kids to events, donating toys and clothes, helping us keep our house manageable and under control, to BIG decisions that could change our life – you were the ones who helped us make it to today.  Thank you for supporting our passion which some may think is over the top.  Without you we could not make it. 

I will never forget the day Ashley brought up the idea of being a “stay at home mom.”  By the way, why do they call it “stay at home mom?”  I don’t know of a “stay at home mom” who JUST stays at home.  There’s more driving around that has to be done now than ever before.  Back to my point…I was scared and could not imagine living on one income and providing for all the needs the kids would have.  We trusted in God that it was his plan.  We made some cutbacks like cable tv. my addiction to UFC Pay Per Views, and a few other lifestyle changes and have been blessed with way more than we deserve. 

As we look toward 2012 we are thankful for all of those who have helped us this year.  Without you our passion would not be the same. 

In the message I heard Sunday at church, our pastor said something that made me uncomfortable. Thanks to him, you are getting to read this. Blame him, not me.

I’m quoting to the best of my ability here…
“God did not send the ultimate sacrifice – his son – so we could have a bigger house, drive nicer cars, go on nicer vacations, or have more stuff. He sent his son to show us how we should live our life each day and to wash away our sins.”

Don’t worry, I’m not re-preaching a sermon so take your mouse and slowly move it away from the red “X” in the upper right corner.

Wether you are or were materialistic – me included – that’s pretty hard to take. So goes the saying “the truth hurts.”

No one is perfect. We all have our faults. I can remember back to before Ashley and I restored our marriage when we felt if we weren’t buying something big, we weren’t happy. It’s funny how priorities change. I also remember when we decided to get rid of cable about a year ago … People thought we were crazy! Now they have proof.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have cable by any means. In fact, now that football season is back in action, I’ll be coming over for the next Monday Night Football game.

When you are on your death bed, will those material things make a difference?

If you don’t know my passion, you are lucky. If you do know, Its probably because you’ve heard how excited we get when we are able to change a child’s life. Fostering isn’t for everyone, although that would be great thought.

I’m sure you have something that you feel passionate about that you could change the world in a positive way by doing.

When you do try to change the world, you’ll be considered odd, weird, and maybe even dumb by others. That’s a good sign you are on the right track!

I’m about to admit two things I’m rather embarassed of……

The first ..

For the longest time I hated weddings.  I didn’t just hate them, I despised them.  I would skillfully worm my way out of going to one, any chance I had.  A would’ve rather gone to the dentist and had wisdom teeth pulled than attend a wedding.  I have even been known to compare weddings to funerals – shame on me.

I tell you that so I can tell you this -   If I had not had such a strong dislike for them at one point, I don’t know that I would be so thankful for them now.  Thank goodness my wife tolerated my grumbles and groaning as we would get ready to attend different weddings over the last 8 years.  Something has changed between my ears and inside my heart over the last couple years…

At some point over the last couple years I have started to enjoy weddings.  There are no more excuses so I didn’t have to go, or dreary moments driving to the weddings.  This all came to a revelation just yesterday when I attended my sister-in-law and new brother-in-law’s wedding. (Congrats Sam & Amy!)  As we were driving from the wedding to the reception I told my wife how great weddings were, and how they inspired me to appreciate what I had.  She was shocked.  I clearly remember her doing a double take at me, not because I’m hot, but because she wanted to make sure she wasn’t in the wrong vehicle.   This is what encouraged me to tell you about my new perspective of weddings…

Rather than feeling sick after the wedding yesterday, I felt refreshed, lucky, blessed, and most importantly, like we were newly married.  It was a great opportunity to soak in the beginning of their new life together, but to also remember the early stages of our marriage, and just how far we have come and what is yet to come.  I told you upfront there were two embarassing things to tell you…well, I shed a few tears during the wedding yesterday.  Go ahead and take my man card now, here, take it… but it was worth it. It was a great moment to experience and be a part of.

Weddings should be like a church service.  An open door to the public.  Having problems in your marriage?  Feel like your marriage is just “blah?” Think the grass is greener on the other side?  Need some encouragement? Attend a wedding.  Remind yourself of what you saw in that person when you said “I do.”  You’ll start to appreciate those small things you saw in your spouse that you ignore now.

What began as just another customer looking to purchase a car actually turned into a friendship of a lifetime.  Don’t get me wrong, many if not most of my customers I’d consider friends, but one customer in particular is inspiring to me.  The day was December 13, 2008.  We finalized the paperwork on his car purchase, but this was the day our friendship began.  I would get email updates from him about his new car.  He had a passion and love for his car, but I found out later, he had a stronger, much deeper passion – helping kids in need. 

Let me introduce you to Mark.  He’s clever, he’s funny, and has a heart 10x’s the size of mine.  He spends a lot of of his spare time doing gardening and creating Indian Art.  Just by looking at his work you can tell he spends a lot of his time working on it.  He began auctioning off a lot of his work on Facebook.  He doesn’t use the money for his own use.  He takes the money and gives it back to children in need.  He collects the money from his auctions and goes shopping for items to donate to the local Youth Shelter.  

Here’s the best part.  No one ever asked him to do it.  He simply felt the need and met it.  I’m inspired by the heart Mark has.  I’m so thankful to have helped him find his dream car in 2008, but I’m more thankful to have a great friend that has a heart you can’t put a price tag on. 

Mark you are awesome!  The children who use the things you buy, play the games you supply, or wear the clothes you pick out may never know where they came from, but our family is so thankful that you do what you do.  You are a blessing to those children.  Thank you for being unselfish with your time and money.  You are rockstar status in my book.

It was about this time last year when Ashley and I decided to dust off the idea of being foster parents, and put it into place.  Within no time we were meeting with an agency to get plugged in and find out how we could make a difference.  Just last summer we started doing respite for foster families.  Respite is when you “babysit” for foster parents so they can go on vacation, or just take a short break.  The first day we had kiddos in our home I began to get the fever.  No, not the Justin Bieber fever, that came later….but the fever to make a difference in children’s lives.

(Here is when the Bieber Fever came in…..)

In August we brought a beautiful 6 year old into our life and quickly learned the difference between aunt & uncle and what being full time, on the go dad, and hot soccer mom type parents were. We have since ditched cable ( We have no time to watch it!) and turned our traditional home into a kid friendly, bright colored house.  I can remember years ago a comment Ashley made, ” I don’t think I’ll ever want to put kid stuff on the front of our fridge.  Well, look at us now.  We now have a roll of tape specifically used for taping “kid stuff” to the front of our fridge.  It sure is funny how kids change our way of thinking sometimes.

About a month ago we received our second blessing.  He’s much younger and requires you to get up in the middle of the night, but we wouldn’t change it for the world.  Going back to the fever I mentioned earlier, we’ve had a desire to do more.  We just feel like what we’ve accomplished so far is nothing compared to what we are capable of.  With two working parents, we’ve found it hard to juggle school, soccer, family time, and the list could go on.  We didn’t know where to go from there…until we heard a message this last Sunday.  It not only changed our lives, but every little kiddo that comes through our door will be changed by it too. 

I’m by no means a preacher, and don’t want to butcher a well delivered sermon, so if you’re interested in finding out what motivated us to “appreciate the fireworks” you can check out the message on the lifechurch.tv website under the Watch Tab.  The message is called Sun Stand Still. 

We decided it was our calling to make the biggest difference we possibly could in foster children’s lives.  We’ve decided Ashley will officially be a Stay At Home Mom and hopefully soon house even more children.  It seems farfetched, really terrifying, really scary, but completely possible.

Our dream is to change as many foster children’s lives with a loving family.  We are excited for the new road ahead….

So I, as well as everyone else in Oklahoma, was reminded of what cabin fever is all about this week. I was also reminded how different woman are geared than men. Hold on, I’m not talking about “those” gears, but more importantly how women have such a nurturing mindset more than men. I’m going to do a bit of bragging on my wife here, so if you are grossed out, my apologies now. . . . . . . .

I caught the “bug” that everyone has been talking about. I rarely get sick, in fact, it’s a pride thing for me that I’m so fit and healthy that I never get sick (your laugh goes here).

Well, apparently I was not immune to this go around and i was down for the count for a day. Lucky for me, my wife was home and she took care of me. She didn’t just give me sympathy, she gave me the best room service I’ve ever had. I’ve never stayed in one of those fancy hotels with high dollar room service – but I’ve heard stories and let me tell you my wife was way better than any room service. She out did herself. She made me rest, kept me loaded with electrolytes, and keep my cup of 7up full at all times. That’s just the beginning. She had this love, this attitude, the attitude that she would’ve done anything to make me feel better, no matter the cost.

I told you all of that to tell you this….

I’m jealous of her…..

I want to have a nurturing heart like hers that doesn’t complain or grumble. Sure I’d take care of her if she was sick, but I’m confident she was given a gift from God to nurture and take care of people.

The other day was when it dawned on me that she was geared different than me. She didn’t complain once that I was high maintenance – and trust me, I was! I’m sure after the 10th request for a refill, I would’ve said something sarcastic if the roles were reversed.

Looking back, I now realize the small things she picks up on with her motherly instincts that generally go right over my head. It would be almost impossible for me to raise children on my own. A scary thought to say the least. She has a sense that can tell when someone is tired, sick, or upset and has just the right thing to fix it. I’m thankful she has this heart and sense, and can only hope to learn from her.

A year ago if you would have asked me where I’d be, I would’ve told you I’d be married, no kids and my main focus would have been what’s best for me. It’s funny how life can change in an instant.

Fast forward to today and I have a beautiful daughter and so close to having a second kiddo in the house it excites me so much I could almost pee my pants – ok, so maybe not to that extreme, but you get my point.

It feels much better to live a somewhat selfless life, than to be all about “me”. What a relief it is to be able to bless someone else. Right at the time I expect to make a difference in someone else’s life, it turns into a blessing for me…. Its funny how that works.

I’m excited to see what’s in store for tomorrow and the weeks to come. I have that feeling similar to when I was 7 or 8, Christmas Eve night, and you just couldn’t fall asleep because the excitement of Christmas morning was unbearable. Did I still believe in Santa at 8? Probably so.

Whether it’s fostering a child, feeding the hungry, or just opening the door for the old guy behind you who is slower than molasses, make a difference for someone else, and I’m positive you will feel blessed in return!

Thanks for reading.